Discouraged

Not much of a post, just wanting to scream so this is the alternative.  Do you ever feel like you just suck at "woman-y" stuff? Guys, hush, that question was not for you. I just wish sometimes I was more domestic and that I enjoyed and was good at typically girly things. Ugh.  I don't think my meds are working today. I want to cry and punch things.

I'm so tired. Literally.

Ugh, where is this energy that I see around me?  I can muster it up when I have to teach (and boy do I love to teach my classes). At home though, wow, I feel like I can't get anything done.  Our home is neat (I would go crazy if it got too messy.  Messes bug me like whoa.), but it is not really clean.  Never is. I am not a deep cleaner. I don't have the energy to be. And let's go back to teaching classes. I have two weeks to learn three new releases and have watched them all a couple times, but just can't get myself in gear to do and learn them.  I get overwhelmed when I have to learn things on my own. I seriously am so tired all the time. I am not a crazy junk food eater and I am well hydrated and work out regularly. My body needs to cooperate and wake up!! I'm so tired of being so tired. Grrrr.  I not only feel like such a sloth, but like a horrible person. Why? Because I use my fatigue as a reason to not do so many things.  Brad and I have even talked about not having any more children b/c I get so worn out. Do you know how awful that makes me feel? Not to mention, how judged I feel by the people that we've mentioned it to. Oh, and I have had so much blood work done over the last 11 years, it is ridiculous.  I am the healthiest person you'll meet with all these "problems" that I have. Always inconclusive. Lovely.