Saturday, June 25, 2011

What Matters?

Alright, this may get a little jumbled, so be warned and prepared. ;)
  I think by now it is safe to say that my new meds are indeed working.  I had an anxious day this week, that would've normally turned into a horrible day with some kind of meltdown in the mix.  That wasn't the case this time. Praise the Lord God Almighty!! He is good! I was frustrated, yes, but I just dealt with it and it turned out to be no big deal...and that right there IS a big deal!
  On to other news.  I facebook chatted today with an old friend. Why is that newsworthy? I'm glad you asked.   I have not done that in years.  In fact, I avoid things like that and I don't text- (but that's b/c I don't want to pay the extra charge).  I do care about the person I was chatting with and wanted to know what was going on with their life.  Why do I not make time to do that more often? Or at least write long emails to stay connected?  I know why I don't call people, I'm not going there today.  I know part of it is because I am selfish and want to sleep when Lydia sleeps. (PS- she sleeps at night, but I don't...well). Another part, is that I don't want to sound creepy or nosey. I think that is hard to avoid sometimes, although it may just be in my head.  I had a friend tell me in highschool that I was very nosey and she did not want to be my friend anymore.  I admit, I can be nosey, but I know that I'm much less nosey now and much more concerned for people.  In fact, I would say this person is much more nosey- so childish.  I really need to let that go.  Anyway, I was glad I chatted today and caught up. It warms my heart and now I know what I can pray for specifically for this person and that's pretty cool.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Things Are Good

  Hmmm, I have noticed that I have less desire to blog when things are going well.  I think it's because I don't feel ashamed to just say, "hey, things have been going great," when I honestly mean it.  I've been taking an antidepressant for a little over two weeks and that may be too short a time to tell if it is really working, but it has been a nice two weeks and for that I give thanks.  It has definitely made me tired though, which is something I'd really like to kick.  I feel like I need to get out there and really live life while I'm here on this earth, but most days I am just counting down until I can take a nap.
  Our family has also just started going to a new homegroup. I think I may have mentioned it before.  Anyway, it has been amazing!  Something we look forward to and get so much out of.  Just in three weeks time, I have seen emotional and spiritual growth in both myself and Brad...and Lydia is a rockstar and goes to sleep while we're there (at someone else's house!).
  I am very happy right now and it feels soooo good to say that.  There are lots of things to pray for and to worry about, but God is bigger than them all and He is King! Isn't that great?! I am going to spend more time this week in PRAISE. God deserves my praise and I want to please Him everyday.
  Have a great week!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Making A Difference

Alright, I am finally sitting down to post about something I was inspired to post Tuesday.  Lazy. Let's move forward.

If you didn't know, I teach group exercise classes at the YMCA. It is amazing. I get paid to work out and build relationships with people.  It has been a huge blessing in my life for two years now. I'm not always in the mood to workout or even be around people, but b/c I know people are counting on me, I go and my day is always better (most of the time). ;) This past Tuesday after teaching Sh'Bam (dance fitness), a woman came up to me and thanked me for my humor in class. She said that she was going through a really difficult time with her family and that it was therapy for her.  She never misses a class. She says she makes herself go b/c she knows she will always have a smile on her face and leave feeling better. Wow! That may not sound like much to you, but that spoke volumes to me. I can relate to her and she probably doesn't even know it. It is therapeutic for me during this hard time as well. I was so encouraged, I prayed and thanked God right then for using me in her life. I pray often for my classes and really desire to use them as a ministry tool. To hear that it is happening, even when I thought I could not be used at the time is amazing and humbling. I would pray, "God, heal me from this so I can use it for your glory," when really he can use me while I'm going through it.

A similar circumstance happened this past Friday evening. (Okay, God is really up to something now) :) My family and I went to a new home group through our church. They were working on testimonies and talking about how your testimony is different depending on who you are talking to. For instance, if I am sharing with someone at the gym, I may use an example of how God used exercise to give me strength, etc.  Anyway, we were writing down some key points that we would later share with eachother. I felt in my heart that the strongest testimony that I had and needed to share was how Christ has been a provider of hope even through dark depression. I got choked up, b/c I am still going through this and it is difficult to talk about.  Somehow in spite me and in spite of that, God used it. Right there in a room full of Christians. Praise God! I still pray for healing and to be able to speak comfortably about the issue of depression, but now I also pray for opportunities to share and let God use me now.

I just started taking an antidepressant and am praying for the best.  I am feeling most of the side effects, but hopefully in a couple weeks my body will adjust and I won't have them.  To have hope of freedom from this horrible disease is truly awesome.