Wednesday, February 22, 2012

How about an update?

Hello to you. I hope you are having a great Wednesday. I thought I would take a few (or more) minutes and reflect on the last few weeks.

Let's see, the days leading up to CXworx training in January were very scary. Even on my way to the training I was thinking how it would be nice if I got into a car accident and ended it all.  Well, I didn't and I'm thankful. I never want my daughter to be without a mother AND I had one of the best weekends of my life. I felt strong and powerful and I got certified at the training which is a huge bonus.  My trainer was amazing. He is definitely doing what God created him to do...it was like he knew there was more to my story. He kept saying that I was a fighter and inspiring him! Really?! So humbling. Well after that I had an amazing three weeks. There was even a week where I didn't take my clear mood and I was fine. A miracle!  Since then I've had a couple minor bumps, but nothing that people without depression don't experience every now and then. I thought, this is it, I'm free. I'm free!! Praise God Almighty...well, this past week I had one day that brought me back. :( I don't know why exactly. My balance/hearing appt. may have played a part.
I have something up and they are trying to figure out if it's my inner ear or something with my vision. I had a ear cleaning, suctioning fluid and such, hearing test, and balance test and have felt kind of crappy since. My sleep patterns have also worsened and they were not good to begin with. We're also getting slammed with medical bills since we have bobo insurance right now. All wonderful things to put on the shoulders of someone who suffers from depression, eh? Well, I'm hoping that it will all be resolved soon. I want to feel better so badly....and get a good night's sleep! I feel like I'm barely functioning right now. Lydia had a rough morning and that combined with exhaustion just leads to tears that need to get out. Hmph.
That really is ending on a down note and that is not what I intended. Things are looking up with my mental status- is that the right phrase? We just need to get all the other stuff to look up as well.