Thoughts

 Our society views depression as something to “rise above and overcome,” Meltzer-Brody said. Depression gets dismissed as a minor issue, fixed with a mere attitude adjustment. “I’ve had many patients tell me that they felt so guilty and judged by friends and family for not being able to ‘just snap out of it and focus on the positive,’” she said.

The above paragraph is from an article I read today about post partum depression. I don't have PPD, I just D, but this statement is so true. People will tell me they understand and are praying for me, but then I finally get the courage to mention something out loud (not just on here!) and they say the most insensitive things. They probably don't even realize it.  How can they? They are not going through what I am. Other people make me feel guilty that I am down when I am so blessed and others are dealing with "much worse." I am not belittling anyone else's misfortunes, please don't belittle mine. I know it must be hard to have a life threatening illness, but guess what...depression IS life threatening.  I imagine that cancer patients pray for healing, well, I am not proud to admit it, but I pray for cancer sometimes. I pray for healing don't get me wrong...,but I also often add a plea for cancer or something that looks horrible to everyone on the outside b/c depression is horrible, but it's so misunderstood. 

Thank God for hope though. Recently an old friend of mine posted a note on fb about his recent career/self struggle. The first part could've been written by me. He was embarrassed by his job and felt like a failure. He was smart, college educated and working with people who didn't even have a HS diploma. I was there. I couldn't handle it so I quit...so did he. He then mentioned a movie quote where a son was apologizing to his father for being a failure and the father responded with, "to be a failure, you have to have actually tried...don't give yourself so much credit. You're worse than that." Ouch. He mentioned it b/c he said it was an "aha" moment that he was blaming other people and situations for where he was in life when he hadn't even really tried yet. Well, now he is preparing to start school at GA Tech to get his MBA and go for his dreams. I'm so proud of him. That movie quote won't leave me though. I need more and hope for more. God, please honor my prayer and direct my steps.